Tag Archives: social

Social accountability

At the start of November I saw a friend post on Facebook and Instagram that he’d be doing a walk along the beach at a set time every morning, and anyone was welcome to come along. I saw this an my first reaction was wow that’s bold he’s going to be walking a lot on his own. That was I think my self-conscious, pressured by society self. He was doing it to start conversations about men’s health, and what better way to do it than walking and talking! By the end of the month he had walked with heaps of people, including some musicians. Earlier this month I thought, once I finish placement I’ll meditate every day for an hour. I have tried this before and haven’t stuck with it so I thought I’d take a leaf out of my friends book and put an open invite on social media. The rationale for this was to raise the idea of meditation to people who haven’t thought about it before, normalising it for everyone, how it should be. But also to keep myself accountable, if I’m expecting people to turn up, I’m going to have to go down as well. When planning this I was (and am) very self conscious about putting this up because meditation is still seen as a bit ‘different’ but I thought about it and realised that this is something I’m interested in and shouldn’t care what others think about it, if they judge me they are probably not in my close circle of friends anyway. the reason I’m sharing it to social media is to potentially have people I wouldn’t normally see come down with me, see if anyone shares the same interest as well as promote the topic. I’m going to post this up tomorrow (Sunday) to start on Monday and even if nobody shows up, it’ll hold me accountable, what’s the worst that can happen

The value of human connection

I’m sure not everyone is like this but often I choose to study, work or train rather than just hang out with friends for the hell of it. This last weekend where I went away and didn’t study or work was really good. It wasn’t just the absence of study and work which made it good.

Going into the weekend I knew less than half the people going and over the weekend I got to know the rest. The ‘getting to know’ phase wasn’t the typical thing you do at a party, which follows the same script of “what do you do at uni” “what do you do for work” etc. it was just chatting shit and being present with what was going on, which was really refreshing. I’ve been thinking about why this was and I think it’s because unlike at a party where there typically isn’t anything to do, we were out surfing, cooking food and just generally ‘doing stuff.’ I think this is a great way to be really present and connect to people over a common activity.

When you think back to being a kid, never did you have a friend over to just chat, you’d always be doing things, playing a sport, going to the park, playing with toys. I think we lose a lot of this as adults and we should try to consciously do more ‘things’ with friends.

“When was the last time you took a risk”

I haven’t taken a proper risk in a long time. The last proper risk I took was going travelling by myself for 3 months back in 2016/17 straight out of high school (and subsequently grew a ‘beard,’ which was probably a bigger risk). 

I’ve always seen myself as a risk taker, but in the last few years I haven’t taken any risks, and I want to. I’m at a point in my life where I could do anything and have no real adverse consequences. I know that, but when I think why I haven’t taken any, it has been out of fear. Fear of failure, fear of judgement. The logical side of my brain thinks “ah but I don’t care about either of them, what is there to worry about,” but when it comes to action, the emotional side takes over, resulting in inaction. 

I had the idea to make a podcast about a year ago and I didn’t go off and start my own podcast like I should have, I started under the safety net of the shop I work at. The saga there is a whole other story but long story short it got caught up in the politics of the business and has stopped. I had the idea, I did all the work to get it up and running but the podcast was never mine like I wanted it to be.  This was all because I didn’t have the guts to do it myself, put my own neck out there and take the risk. 

Risk taking is something most people did in their childhood, whether that be jump off a rock, skateboarding down a hill or making a lemonade stand (for lack of a less cliche analogy). Back then not many people would have thought twice, I certainly didn’t. Those risks which may have turned out well or have failed we’re all valuable, and probably really enjoyable. The reason, in my mind at least, that as you ‘grow up,’ entering your late teens and 20’s, you become more risk averse is because you have a more highly developed social brain. I’m not speaking from any evidence here but throughout high school and university you begin to learn what is and isn’t socially acceptable and praised, and for most people finishing high school ~5 years ago I’m not sure that starting your own business, or putting yourself out there on social media was seen as cool, or desirable. That is definitely changing now, but the barriers have been formed and these sit in your mind when trying to do your own thing out in the public sphere.

This has been a bit of a rambling post but I hope you’re able to learn from my mistakes; think “what’s the worst that can happen,” and if that is not too bad, then stick your neck out and go and do it yourself, take the risk, and if you’re committed to it, it’ll generally end up working. I’m taking this as a call to action and I’m going to go out of my way to take a few more risks for the rest of the year and see where it leads me. I encourage you to do the same.